Contextual Process 9

Repair After Harm or Misstep

Overview

Repair After Harm or Misstep provides a structured approach for acknowledging harm, apologising effectively, and restoring trust. It focuses on accountability without shame and repair without defensiveness.

Purpose

To enable relationships to recover quickly and fairly after mistakes or breaches of trust.

Steps

  1. Acknowledge the harm
    Name what happened without minimising.
  2. Take responsibility
    Own your part clearly and without justification.
  3. Listen to impact
    Understand how the other person was affected.
  4. Offer repair
    Identify actions that rebuild trust.
  5. Agree how to move forward
    Define expectations and boundaries for the future.

Indicators of Good Practice

  • The harmed party feels heard and respected
  • Accountability is taken without shame
  • Trust begins to rebuild

Common Failure Modes

  • Defensive explanations
  • Over‑apologising without change
  • Avoiding the conversation entirely

When to Use

  • Miscommunication or conflict
  • Breaches of trust
  • Moments where harm has been caused unintentionally

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